Forgive Master Po, but some reader's are in need of explanations - which is a sign that some of these are poor -isms.
Master Po say:
“When Colin Powell due for exam, doctor recommend Colin-oscopy.” “Find too much smoke blown up ass by those in Washington.”
“When Amish teen tell dad she pregnant, he say, “too many Mennonite.” “When vet find lice on legs of mountain cat, he treat Nittany Lion.” (nit knee lion)
“Male bird with two reproductive organs known as Cockatoo.”
“Bale fall on lizard is the straw that broke the chameleon’s back.”
“Puzzled male tiger question wife about his frayed jeans - Tigris, Euphrates?” (Tigris - You fray these?)
“Playboy who think he Night Hawk might just be Great Horny Owl.”
“After patient complain eye doctor tickle her during exam, doc tell judge, it optical illusion. (Op Tickle)
“After Pittsburgh woman have suspended bladder surgery, she no longer live in Beaver Falls.”
“Disease-ridden rodent found in city bake shop is Pittsburgh Pirate.”
“When chief tell confused brave of approaching winter storm, brave expect visit from many snow squaws.”
“Depressed Shao Lin Priest who lie on railroad track suffer from split personality disorder”
“Baby Teddy Bear who refuse potty training must stay in Pooh Corner.”
“When young lumber jack break hatchet in woods, he get fist piece of axe.”
“Repeated shoplifter in jewelry store known as Kranich Kleptomaniac.”
“As hog butcher cut ribs, he contemplate soohy side. “
“If honey bee sting woman in crotch, she called honey puss.”
“Geisha girl who use mouth wash as douche, is Lavoris Clitoris“
“Terrorists warn that sperm clinic will be bombed – many to be over come in rubble.”
“Meat butcher with hernia has plenty of tender loin.”
“When MacDonald’s open in hell, Satan sell Evil MacEvil dinners.”
“When baseball player swallow straight pin, he go into batting slump – He then called pinch hitter.” (pin shitter)
“Old man, smoking dope, while rocking on chair called Happy Rockefeller. “
“Two gay men named Bob known as Oral Roberts.”
"Man who growl and snarl at dog owners to get pets spayed and neutered is also Bob Barker."
“Surfer, who fart get caught in rip tide.”
“Man who try to walk on water might die in under tow.”
“Bragging unicorn with cold, tend to toot own horn.”
“Man who continue to fall in out-house in winter, battle cold sewers for life. “ (cold sores)
“Cat house owner, who give free service to men with foot fetish, have stock in Frito-Lay.” (free toe lay)
“Scholar who eat beans cannot solve astute problems.” (ass toot)
"If Tiny Tim get too close to oven, he could end up a Cratchit in the rye."
“Over-milked cow will suffer ‘udder’ exhaustion.“
“Rice Krispies allowed to freeze become Snap, Crackle, Popsicles.”
“Rice Krispies allowed to sour become Snap, Crackle, Pop Tarts.”
“Man who drive like crazy, develop Loco motion.”
“When Chinaman see Frenchman urinating in woods, he yell, ‘European in the Bushes’!” (You are peein in the bushes!)
“Glass-eyed man who eat spinach, called Popeye.”
“Anorexic who refuse ride becomes Walking Stick.”
“Small gnat bother astronaut on moon flight known as Lunatic.” (lunar tic)
“Beings on Mars who ignore others, guilty of Martian.” (Mars shun)
As part of major cover-up, “Braless Canadian scientist told by boss to search for Labrador.” (lab bra door)
“If farmer knock down lantern in barn, he better off changing business to Worm Farm.” (warm farm)
“Playboy who attempt to grope two ladies at once, called Fortitude.” (four tit dude)
When Shao Lin priest in Buddhist Temple asked to tighten robe, he reply, “Please bare with me. “
“Most Penn Dot workers are Rhodes Scholars.”
“Man who insist on sitting on cactus alone, learn he assert himself.” (ass hurt)
“Young man may flunk out of school if he prefer to study abroad.”
“Female frog that sit on very short post, likely to have Tad Pole.”
“If Dr. Kevorkian open pediatrics office in China, euthanasia in trouble.” (youth in Asia)
“When botanist move to Berlin, he take part in germination data.” (German Nation)
“Rumor that oil tycoon is rich is well-founded.”